The prologue
Rain starts falling in the early noon, i just woke up, and yes, today is an off day for me. I tell myself no staring endlessly at the com today and i wont get the chance to see her today also, so dont think too much. The hungry me, dragged my feet across the cold floor, had a quick washed up in the toilet and just when i thought i am all alone in the house, i saw my mum walking out from her toilet.
She told me its her off day today also, haha, yea she deserved an off more than me. She asked to have my "brunch" on the dining table, some big bun i saw. At the first look i thought its some gigantic char siew bun, and a bite from it, i got a big let down and my mum laughed at me. Its vege bun! got u? Wah kaoz, sup with her today, make fun of her precious son.
The vege char siew bun.Never mind la, its my mum anyway haha, i told myself. I forced myself to take half of the bun, sitting beside my pond, enjoying the music of the flowing water, and look at my turtle in the pond, it really grew so big. I enjoyed looking at my little aquarium and listen to the sound of flowing water, i think i got greatly influenced by my dad. We are all very nature guys, love to climb the bukit timah hill, walk the sengai buroh mangrove park, cycling at the beach. I wish only my friends are ok with the idea of going to climb the bukit timah hill with me haha. Lazy bums.
My turtle, its not the shan rui, really some rare fresh water hard shell turtle, duno where my cousin got it, but grew too big, gave it to me.The date
In the late afternoon, i went out to meet my good friend jim for a sun tan session. It sorta screwed up, we had a miscommunication, and i was late by alot and waited at the wrong place for him. In the end we reached tampines safra at around 4pm, and luckily it is only then, the sun came out. The sun is not strong enough though, we lie on the bench at the swimming pool, talking cock. He gave a great lecture to me, told me its time that i wake up, time to make a change.
The realistic truth
The truth i am always running away from, that i am not good looking, nor am i good in my work now, nor am i rich, i am just a worse than normal guy with low confident level.
The Plan
He giving me talks about how i should improve myself, first start to work on my outlooks. You know it is a fact in this world, that guys love beauties, and of course, we must expect girls like good looking guys too. If you are not born in the category, then at least do something to yourself, not only does it makes u healthier, it give u more confidence, as well as give others more liking to talk to you. A good looking guy might be a jerk, a beautiful girl might be a bitch, but at least they win those untidy, lazy people.
Look at the recent drama on TV8, showing the difference between a good looking girl with a snobbish attitude and a bad looking girl with a kind nature. The world is just so "fair" and realistic. Alright man, i stopped giving myself excuses with exercises and diet. Time to control my ownself. Jim even told me how should i get myself started, this is not the time for you to be blindly obsessed with any girls, he said. I guessed he's right, and alot of people are, for i am the one refused to wake up from my dreams. I guessed i should concentrate on learning to love myself more first, i am really not ready for any relationship.
Then i should start looking for further studies, i am already 23, old enough, almost 9 months out of army. Time to do a real plan, part time studying and working wont work on me, i am so tired to even watch tv back from work.
Time to be in control, diet, training, studying and making friends, other things shouldnt even come in mind.
Moving on. Fine tuning my life.
Aha, maybe only a good friend like him will dare to say these harsh words to me. When u know your good friend is heading the wrong direction, it is good to stop him , free him from his stupid dreams, be cruel to him, let him know the truth.
It might be another painful period for me to go through yet again, but i know i will do it this time. Just let everything to go on naturally, but concentrate on myself now.