I brought my fav tuna sandwich from breadtalk on the way to the office from cityhall, and then brought a cup of carrot + red apple juice from the lobby drink stall. And these 2 item costs $1.80 + $2.50, ouch, hhaha. But the juice taste heavenly, and wow such a fulfilling breakfast, great day to start. I work especially fast today, maybe its due the breakfast maybe its just me and my silly thinking.
Its been some days since i last saw her, been trying hard to dont think that much, and its sorta finally working. Well actually i had a chat with my cousin last friday, she told me if i realised "she" made things pretty clear for me actually. I had some thinking that night and i told her actually, she's right, all the while i am thinking why is she being that cold, am i that bad to be a friend, i have not thought the other way. That she knew what i was trying to do, and she dont know how to tell me, so she used her own methods, to keep clear from me.
It seriously hurts, but its part of the learning process i guess. And actually I made it too obvious that no fool will believe i just want to be a friend, well hush words from my cousin, but she's right. Although i did think that way, but what i did was too much for her to believe, i guess thats it man, nothing can be undone, i have to move on, dont think much le. Man have to learn to stand up by himself from failures like this, never take it to heart too much, thats what i learn. Trying to get rid of the sensitive me, back to bochup mode.
We went to suntec for lunch this afternoon, and they suggest to try the food republic food court, i didnt have any idea what is that place at first. But to my horror, and extreme shock, after i reached there... Alot of memories suddenly flowed into me, around 2 years back, i sat on the same table as today. But the mood is definitely entirely different, this is a place i never want to be back again. I've sorta forgotten about it in suntec, or even in singapore, its like so distant to me.
2 years ago, i hold her hands for the last time at this very same corner, i told her i am very sorry, and ask for her forgiveness, she didnt say anything throughout the dinner, she just shook her head and gave me a distanced feeling. I still remember the day, although now abit blurred, but vaguely remember the way she rejected my flowers, the eyes around us looking on me, people are giving me the "u are the wrong" feeling. This place doesnt look like this 2 years ago, the place was now properly furnished into a lavish looking foodcourt. But the memories still lingering inside me, not much of hurtful, more of a sour feeling now.
Time is definitely the best medicine of all, it might not cure you completely, it might not fix a broken heart, but it will definitely make you to feel better as it past by. Up till a point u will eventually realized, its not much of a big deal actually, then you will learn to forgive yourself, and forgive the other, and finally move on with your life.
Looking back at what happened 2 years ago, and how much i trying to avoid this place for the past 2 years, i am so silly. haha, those were the times.....
At night, i went to the gym again after a month+ because of OT and busy stuff for the past month. I need to regain my self confidence i told myself, i might fail this time, but not again. Need to shape myself before the coming new year, ya man. I did my usual training a month ago, 5km run on the track followed by 3 sets of 4 rep situps, crunches, side trunk situp, 3 sets of 4 rep weights. I really over did it, thought i am as fit as i were haha, now muscle aching all over, ok time to sleep!